Hi everyone I thought I'd quickly visit this topic and revisit it again in the near future. As relating to myself, I often wonder if I've been misdiagnosed. My father has Multiple Sclerosis (MS) and I've found that the risk of contracting Multiple Sclerosis if your father has the disease is approx 1 in 100. Source I don't like those odds. As I've been researching bipolar online I've also found something interesting. Multiple people who actually had early onset MS were diagnosed as bipolar!
The number of patients with Bipolar disorder and MS is significantly higher in the general population than one would statistically expect which may suggest that some connection between Multiple Sclerosis and Bipolar could be possible. It is known that the MS causes changes to the white matter of the brain which is also the case with mania but whether the origin and the chain of events leading to MS and Bipolar are similar is unknown. Source
During the summer of 2010 (first summer with my bipolar diagnosis) while I was on multiple medications for Bipolar I remember feeling a sense of dread as the strength in both of my forearms began to disappear. They felt tingly and weak. It eventually went away. Could this have been a sign of MS? Could the multiple medications I'm on be masking other symptoms? I wouldn't be reaching so far for an explanation if my father was healthy. I found a fellow blogger who seems to have experienced a lot of the same things I have, however her misdiagnosis of bipolar was corrected when more prevalent symptoms of MS began to appear. Link to her page here.
Other sites have stated, "Multiple sclerosis often misdiagnosed as mental disorder: The early stages of multiple sclerosis may cause various general feelings of wellness, happiness, euphoria, or manic-type symptoms in some patients. These symptoms may lead to a misdiagnosis of bipolar disorder, hypomania, cyclothymia, histrionic personality disorder, or similar disorders." Source
I suppose I will never know if I have MS until more prevalent symptoms begin to present themselves. Who knows, only God, right?
Wednesday, May 15, 2013
Celebrities, Genius, and Bipolar
There has often been thought to be a link between bipolar disorder and genius. Some studies have proved as much. Kay Redfield Jamison of John Hopkins school of Medicine, who suffers from bipolar disorder, said that intelligence tests on Swedish 16-year-olds had shown that highly intelligent children were most likely to go on to develop the disorder. Source
A study of more than 700,000 adults illustrated the fact that people who attained the highest grades at school are 4 times more likely to suffer with bipolar disorder than those who achieved average grades. This study was carried out by researchers who worked at the Institute of Psychiatry, based at King’s College in London, and colleagues from the Karolinska Institute in Stockholm, Sweden and the results showed that the link between bipolar disorder and high intelligence was most pronounced in those who studied music or literature, just as it had been with key historical figures in our past. Source
Some celebrities have come out with their diagnosis freely. Others who have passed away are postulated as having bipolar disorder judging by their behaviors, often irrational.
Ludwig van Beethoven, composer and pianist is suggested to have had bipolar. Russel Brand, comedian, Demi Lovato, singer, and Carrie Fisher, actress, have all openly come out with their diagnoses. Marylin Monroe is thought to have had bipolar as well as Kurt Cobain. Issac Newton, mathematician/physicist, Friedrich Nietzsche, philosopher, Vincent Van Gogh, artist, and Frank Sinatra also are thought to have had bipolar disorder. One of the most recent celebrities to come out as having the disorder is Catherine Zeta-Jones. Source
My personal experience seems to coincide with these studies linking genius with bipolar. While is school I averaged a 3.945 GPA through high school and a 3.8 average GPA in college while earning my Bachelor's in Economics. I've always been thought of as "bright." I often wonder if it would be better to be dull and live a normal life than have a higher IQ and deal with bipolar.
It's astonishing to think about all the famous individuals who had bipolar and were successful. It seems as though their work saw gains while their personal lives unraveled. That's what happened to me. I was doing fantastic at a new banker job, raised investment sales by 200% in one month at my branch, while my life was slowly falling apart around me. I believe I was somewhat manic, staying out all hours. Then I had a panic attack, a severe one, for the first time at work and I panicked. I resigned right then and there, thought I was having a heart attack and couldn't handle the job. It's like someone flipped a switch in my brain. Everything was fine, I was pulling 50k, then BAM, you've quit your job and end up hospitalized then homeless. It's amazing how fast you can fall.
With all of societies modern advances in medicine I often wish I could afford to go to a bipolar clinic, like Standford School of Medicine's, or the Mayo Clinic's. I have gone to several DBSA (depression bipolar support alliance) meetings and one younger gentleman discussed how he went to a specialist in Chicago where they evaluated the different level of nutrients in his system to help better guide a medication choice. From his presentation he explained how they looked at the whole person to decide treatment.
Currently I rely on Medicaid with a $863 monthly deductible. Makes it hard to visit even a regular doctor for a cold, let alone any specialists. That's where celebrities have a one up on the rest of us. They have the funds to get the best treatment. The rest of us must rely on private insurance, or in my case the government.
A study of more than 700,000 adults illustrated the fact that people who attained the highest grades at school are 4 times more likely to suffer with bipolar disorder than those who achieved average grades. This study was carried out by researchers who worked at the Institute of Psychiatry, based at King’s College in London, and colleagues from the Karolinska Institute in Stockholm, Sweden and the results showed that the link between bipolar disorder and high intelligence was most pronounced in those who studied music or literature, just as it had been with key historical figures in our past. Source
Some celebrities have come out with their diagnosis freely. Others who have passed away are postulated as having bipolar disorder judging by their behaviors, often irrational.
Ludwig van Beethoven, composer and pianist is suggested to have had bipolar. Russel Brand, comedian, Demi Lovato, singer, and Carrie Fisher, actress, have all openly come out with their diagnoses. Marylin Monroe is thought to have had bipolar as well as Kurt Cobain. Issac Newton, mathematician/physicist, Friedrich Nietzsche, philosopher, Vincent Van Gogh, artist, and Frank Sinatra also are thought to have had bipolar disorder. One of the most recent celebrities to come out as having the disorder is Catherine Zeta-Jones. Source
My personal experience seems to coincide with these studies linking genius with bipolar. While is school I averaged a 3.945 GPA through high school and a 3.8 average GPA in college while earning my Bachelor's in Economics. I've always been thought of as "bright." I often wonder if it would be better to be dull and live a normal life than have a higher IQ and deal with bipolar.
It's astonishing to think about all the famous individuals who had bipolar and were successful. It seems as though their work saw gains while their personal lives unraveled. That's what happened to me. I was doing fantastic at a new banker job, raised investment sales by 200% in one month at my branch, while my life was slowly falling apart around me. I believe I was somewhat manic, staying out all hours. Then I had a panic attack, a severe one, for the first time at work and I panicked. I resigned right then and there, thought I was having a heart attack and couldn't handle the job. It's like someone flipped a switch in my brain. Everything was fine, I was pulling 50k, then BAM, you've quit your job and end up hospitalized then homeless. It's amazing how fast you can fall.
With all of societies modern advances in medicine I often wish I could afford to go to a bipolar clinic, like Standford School of Medicine's, or the Mayo Clinic's. I have gone to several DBSA (depression bipolar support alliance) meetings and one younger gentleman discussed how he went to a specialist in Chicago where they evaluated the different level of nutrients in his system to help better guide a medication choice. From his presentation he explained how they looked at the whole person to decide treatment.
Currently I rely on Medicaid with a $863 monthly deductible. Makes it hard to visit even a regular doctor for a cold, let alone any specialists. That's where celebrities have a one up on the rest of us. They have the funds to get the best treatment. The rest of us must rely on private insurance, or in my case the government.
Thursday, May 2, 2013
Helpful Paxil Information
After my blog yesterday describing my struggles with Paxil I thought it would be helpful to go over some basic info about Paxil as well as known side effects and withdrawal symptoms.
Paxil was released onto the United States market by GlaxoSmithKline in 1992. This drug was developed in hopes of creating a superior Selective Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitor (SSRI) anti-depressant, which could be used in both children and adults. I was prescribed Paxil to help with my depression that comes with my bipolar. Paxil and other Paroxetine medications are primarily prescribed to treat depression, obsessive compulsive disorder, post traumatic stress disorder, panic disorder, generalized anxiety disorder, social phobia and social anxiety disorders, and premenstrual dysphoric disorder.
Side Effects
Unfortunately, potent SSRI drugs offer a wide array of frightening side effects, including: increase in depression and/or anxiety, paranoia, apathy, impulsive behaviors, emotional instability, mood swings, nightmares or vivid dreams, weight gain, weight loss, headache, nausea, diarrhea, vomiting, constipation, dry mouth, sleepiness, insomnia, heavy sweating, muscle ache, muscle weakness, vertigo, motion sickness, loss of sexual drive, inability to achieve orgasm, teeth grinding, dilated pupils, and even suicidal thoughts.
I experienced emotional instability, mood swings, uncontrollable crying, hot flashes, and an irregular period. I know, tmi lol.
Withdrawal
Withdrawal symptoms of Paxil include: feelings of electric shock and "zaps" in the brain and throughout the body, hot flashes, vertigo, extreme anxiety, loss of concentration, confusion, paranoia, emotional instability, mood swings, forgetfulness, irrational thoughts and behaviors, insomnia, rebound of depression symptoms, and even suicidal thoughts and tendencies.
Since I've weaned off Paxil I've experienced suicidal thoughts, mood swings, loss of concentration, anxiety, and heart palpitations. Today, however these seem to be lessening. Thank God. I hope this information has been helpful to you.
Source 1 for Paxil info Source 2 for Paxil info
Paxil was released onto the United States market by GlaxoSmithKline in 1992. This drug was developed in hopes of creating a superior Selective Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitor (SSRI) anti-depressant, which could be used in both children and adults. I was prescribed Paxil to help with my depression that comes with my bipolar. Paxil and other Paroxetine medications are primarily prescribed to treat depression, obsessive compulsive disorder, post traumatic stress disorder, panic disorder, generalized anxiety disorder, social phobia and social anxiety disorders, and premenstrual dysphoric disorder.
Side Effects
Unfortunately, potent SSRI drugs offer a wide array of frightening side effects, including: increase in depression and/or anxiety, paranoia, apathy, impulsive behaviors, emotional instability, mood swings, nightmares or vivid dreams, weight gain, weight loss, headache, nausea, diarrhea, vomiting, constipation, dry mouth, sleepiness, insomnia, heavy sweating, muscle ache, muscle weakness, vertigo, motion sickness, loss of sexual drive, inability to achieve orgasm, teeth grinding, dilated pupils, and even suicidal thoughts.
I experienced emotional instability, mood swings, uncontrollable crying, hot flashes, and an irregular period. I know, tmi lol.
Withdrawal
Withdrawal symptoms of Paxil include: feelings of electric shock and "zaps" in the brain and throughout the body, hot flashes, vertigo, extreme anxiety, loss of concentration, confusion, paranoia, emotional instability, mood swings, forgetfulness, irrational thoughts and behaviors, insomnia, rebound of depression symptoms, and even suicidal thoughts and tendencies.
Since I've weaned off Paxil I've experienced suicidal thoughts, mood swings, loss of concentration, anxiety, and heart palpitations. Today, however these seem to be lessening. Thank God. I hope this information has been helpful to you.
Source 1 for Paxil info Source 2 for Paxil info
Wednesday, May 1, 2013
Weaning off Paxil
Yesterday and today I have done nothing but cry, well that's not true. I've been holding back my tears today until I meet with my case manager. She knows my life situation and may be able to make me feel a little bit better. Yesterday I cried all day, and when I didn't I felt numb. My mother was no comfort.
I was taking Welbutrin, Paxil, and Risperdone with Klonopin as needed. Well after the Paxil was added about a month ago I started getting hot flashes (which I had NEVER had before) crying for absolutely no reason at all and my period was 3 weeks late. The doc and I decided to wean me off the Paxil. I mean, do I really need 2 antidepressants? That remains to be seen.
I've been off the Paxil 2 days now, and as I mentioned they're not going well. I don't know how in words to emphasize how much I do not want to be on all these medications just to feel sane. I've been battling with medications since my initial diagnosis in 2010. Seroquil gave me awful night terrors, Depakote made me gain 40 lbs and my hair fall out in clumps, Abilify makes me burn in direct sunlight. And when I find something that seems to work, like Saphris, it costs too much. I was on that then my coverage changed and I couldn't afford it anymore.
I've found sites online that say weaning off Paxil is as bad as weaning off Heroin. There are even websites solely dedicated to quitting Paxil. I know it causes birth defects in pregnant women, so that's never a good sign.
I really feel hopeless. I can't work and I barely get by on my disability check. I have a mountain of debt I will never be able to pay off and thus my credit is shot. I'll never be able to afford my own home or have children (I'm not passing my bipolar genes off to anyone). I have nothing to look forward to anymore. I feel like I've lived my life. All I do is help out my folks with crap around their house and visit my grandmother. I even tried submitting this blog for Google AdSense for some extra income and I was declined. Of course they never say why.
I was taking Welbutrin, Paxil, and Risperdone with Klonopin as needed. Well after the Paxil was added about a month ago I started getting hot flashes (which I had NEVER had before) crying for absolutely no reason at all and my period was 3 weeks late. The doc and I decided to wean me off the Paxil. I mean, do I really need 2 antidepressants? That remains to be seen.
I've been off the Paxil 2 days now, and as I mentioned they're not going well. I don't know how in words to emphasize how much I do not want to be on all these medications just to feel sane. I've been battling with medications since my initial diagnosis in 2010. Seroquil gave me awful night terrors, Depakote made me gain 40 lbs and my hair fall out in clumps, Abilify makes me burn in direct sunlight. And when I find something that seems to work, like Saphris, it costs too much. I was on that then my coverage changed and I couldn't afford it anymore.
I've found sites online that say weaning off Paxil is as bad as weaning off Heroin. There are even websites solely dedicated to quitting Paxil. I know it causes birth defects in pregnant women, so that's never a good sign.
I really feel hopeless. I can't work and I barely get by on my disability check. I have a mountain of debt I will never be able to pay off and thus my credit is shot. I'll never be able to afford my own home or have children (I'm not passing my bipolar genes off to anyone). I have nothing to look forward to anymore. I feel like I've lived my life. All I do is help out my folks with crap around their house and visit my grandmother. I even tried submitting this blog for Google AdSense for some extra income and I was declined. Of course they never say why.
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