Hello everyone! I hope your week is going well so far. I thought today I'd write about the link I've noticed between individuals with bipolar and mental illness and the paranormal. Personally, I have seen many strange things in my day and I have come to believe that individuals with mental illness are somehow able to receive messages from the beyond more clearly than your average person.
I have never told any of my doctors what things I have seen. If I did they would probably try to lock me up in the psych ward. And I'm not the only person who feels this way. After talking to acquaintances and researching online I found out many other individuals feel the same way.
One individual wrote: "It's difficult to talk to doctors or therapists about it because you're afraid they're going to think, 'yeah, she's losing her mind again.' That or they tell you that it's a false perception due to either your bipolar or borderline personality disorder... "
Another said, "We're called nutjobs for recounting these experiences, and don't you dare mention them to your psychiatrist unless you want a stay in a psych ward complete with an ECT session or two."
These days, science is bridging the gap, but it is not yet there. Investigations into creativity and intuition point to variations in the way the brain processes information. In either endeavor, the mind arrives at conclusions that cannot be explained as the product of rational and linear thinking.
One way of looking at it is that in the creative and/or intuitive mind, the brain may be inefficient at filtering out so-called irrelevant inputs. Strongly allied to this notion is the idea that creative/intuitive brains may be frighteningly efficient at connecting these so-called irrelevant inputs into something transcendentally relevant. Source
While I was manic my mind was working super efficiently and I was making connections between ideas that others couldn't. My production numbers at work soared and I raised investment sales over 150% in one month at the bank. I was at the top of my game. Then the mania overtook me and I was hospitalized.
Even before my diagnosis of bipolar in 2010 I myself had seen unexplainable things. While in high school I awoke one night to see a black creature with its back to the ceiling in the corner of my room with two yellow eyes staring at me. I immediately flipped on my headboard light and it was gone. I didn't dare tell my parents till years later.
In between my numerous hospital stays in the summer of 2010 I also saw weird things. While staying with a friend in South Haven I would walk out of one room and return to find picture frames had flipped themselves around. I also had a very strong premonition that summer. My friend was going out of town to a baseball tournament. I spoke with her on the phone and something didn't seem right. When I hung up with her all of a sudden I go this terrible feeling of dread and couldn't stop crying. No one could console me, I knew something bad was going to happen to my friend. I tried calling her back and couldn't reach her. That night my friend totaled her car in a crash on the freeway. No one was injured luckily. She told me she had seen an angel in her passenger seat before the crash. Weird.
More recently I've experienced a negative presence in my parent's house where I grew up. I was trying to get online on my parents computer and the CPU kept freezing up. I was home alone and I finally looked to my right and shouted, "Quit fucking with me!" Immediately the computer unfroze and began working properly. Within 5 minutes the computer began to slow down again and lock up. This time I shouted, "In the name of Jesus Christ leave me alone!" Again, immediately the computer unfroze and began working again. It remained working until I finished my work.
My family has never seemed to be able to catch a break, financially or otherwise, and I began wondering if there was a presence in the home that was causing these bad events to happen.
I've decided to share my experiences with my therapist, who is Catholic. He has told me he believes I may be experiencing a demonic oppression. Oppression is more a general influence over outcomes in your life rather than a physical possession. He suggested I get holy water and sprinkle it in the house as well as tell the spirit in the name of Jesus to leave. I did this and things have seemed to settle down.
I have also talked to several individuals with mental illness, including bipolar and varying degrees of schizophrenia. The majority of people say they have in fact experienced paranormal activity. Some much more than others. When I talk to individuals with schizophrenia they all tell me they hear bad voices telling them to do bad things, they just try to ignore them. This even while they are on medication. Could they simply be dealing with a mild possession? A girl from my church began hearing bad voices and her mother had her exorcised rather than putting her on heavy medications. The voices left after the exorcism and she has been fine and led a productive life ever since.
Have any of you seen The Possession of Emily Rose? I know this is a work of fiction "based on true events," but in the movie it is suggested that by putting individuals on heavy medications can lock a person into possession, unable to get any relief. I've often wondered if this was the case with schizophrenics. If you haven't watched it it is an excellent film!
I've never heard voices myself, but I have seen apparitions. While I was manic in the summer of 2010 I thought that I was a divine servant of God and, how do I explain this, I didn't hear voices but thought God was sending me messages through things I would see and hear on the television or radio. I was lost that summer while driving to my friends ball game so I decided to literally follow the way the wind was blowing. I thought God would help direct me there. I know it sounds nuts, but my wacky method actually got me to the ball field.
Others online have agreed that those with mental illness are more open to paranormal experiences, "Don't know if it is because of a lack of/or overload of certain chemicals within the brains of those individuals, if their perception of reality can be a little altered, or if maybe they are just more 'open and sensitive' to receiving paranormal phenomenon. But I fully agree that individuals with these distinct mental illnesses have a higher rate for claiming supernatural activity."
You're free to form your own opinion, in fact leave a comment and I'd like to hear yours! Me, I believe.
Wednesday, August 21, 2013
Wednesday, August 14, 2013
PreMenstrual Dysphoric Dirsorder (PMDD) and Bipolar
5 years ago while I was living in Grand Rapids before my bipolar diagnosis I was diagnosed by my general practitioner with Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder or PMDD. When that time of the month reared it ugly head my moods would drastically change and I would become very irritable, emotional and argumentative. I knew something was wrong because these feelings that would come flooding in were not my own. This wasn't my norm. I was initially put on birth control pills to try to level my hormone levels, however the pills made my emotions take a roller coaster ride, up and down and all over the place. After a week on the pills I quit with my doctor's approval. Antidepressants were then prescribed.
PMDD symptoms include insomnia, oversleeping, binge eating, confusion, difficulty concentrating, aggression, rage, feeling of being overwhelmed, out of control, or suicidal. Sometimes PMDD gets so severe that a woman can become psychotic for a few days each month. PMDD affects somewhere between 5-10% of menstruating women. Research suggests that the cause of PMDD may be related to hormonal changes related to the menstrual cycle. Additional research suggests some similarity to that of certain mood disorders with the brain’s ability to properly regulate key neurochemicals, such as serotonin. However, no definitive research has been conducted that has shown a single cause for premenstrual dysphoric disorder. Some studies have found that bipolar symptoms worsen in relation to the menstrual cycle. What doctors do know:
After monitoring my menstrual cycle I now know that when that time of the month gets near my breasts will become tender and when that happens I try to stay aware of my moods until my period starts. I will become easily frustrated and argumentative. I will even tell those I'm around ahead of time that I may be "moody" and to ignore it. I often find myself apologizing for my behavior frequently after my cycle starts. Just one more thing I need to be aware of regarding my body and bipolar. :)
PMDD symptoms include insomnia, oversleeping, binge eating, confusion, difficulty concentrating, aggression, rage, feeling of being overwhelmed, out of control, or suicidal. Sometimes PMDD gets so severe that a woman can become psychotic for a few days each month. PMDD affects somewhere between 5-10% of menstruating women. Research suggests that the cause of PMDD may be related to hormonal changes related to the menstrual cycle. Additional research suggests some similarity to that of certain mood disorders with the brain’s ability to properly regulate key neurochemicals, such as serotonin. However, no definitive research has been conducted that has shown a single cause for premenstrual dysphoric disorder. Some studies have found that bipolar symptoms worsen in relation to the menstrual cycle. What doctors do know:
- premenstrually, women's suicide attempts and treats increase, and they're more likely to be admitted to the psych ward
- over 2/3s of women with unipolar disorder (depressive episodes but no manic or hypomanic episodes) experience premenstrual lows
- women who suffer from premenstrual mood changes frequently have family histories of depression
After monitoring my menstrual cycle I now know that when that time of the month gets near my breasts will become tender and when that happens I try to stay aware of my moods until my period starts. I will become easily frustrated and argumentative. I will even tell those I'm around ahead of time that I may be "moody" and to ignore it. I often find myself apologizing for my behavior frequently after my cycle starts. Just one more thing I need to be aware of regarding my body and bipolar. :)
Wednesday, August 7, 2013
5 Bipolar Myths Debunked
There are several misconceptions regarding Bipolar Disorder. Here I intend to debunk a few with the help of WebMD.
1) Bipolar is a rare condition. False, in a given year, bipolar disorder affects about 5.7 million American adults, or about 2.6% of the U.S. population 18 and older, according to the National Institute of Mental Health. It seemed as though most individuals I came across while in the psych ward were diagnosed with Bipolar.
2) Bipolar is just another name for mood swings. Incorrect. This often aggitates me when I hear the lyrics to songs about being bipolar when the artist is simply referring to mood swings, such as Katy Perry's Hot n Cold. The mood swings associated with bipolar disorder are very different than those of people without the condition, says Matthew Rudorfer, MD, associate director of treatment research in the division of services and intervention research at the National Institute of Mental Health in Bethesda, Md. "The mood swings of bipolar [disorder] are more severe, longer lasting, and maybe most significant of all, they interfere with some important aspect of functioning, such as ability to work at one's job, or manage one's home, or be a successful student," he says.
3) People with bipolar disorder shift back and forth from depression to mania very often. The Jekyll-Hyde personality, the type that can turn on a dime from sad to euphoric, is a myth about bipolar, says Gary Sachs, MD, director of the Bipolar Clinic and Research Program at Massachusetts General Hospital in Boston and associate professor of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School. ''The average bipolar patient will be depressed more often [than manic]," he says. This definitely rings true for myself. I have only had a few bouts of mania, being depressed the majority of the time.
4) When they're in the manic phase, people with bipolar disorder are often very happy. True for some, experts tell WebMD, but not for others. And a person with bipolar disorder may enter the manic phase happy but not stay that way. "The hallmark of mania is a euphoric or elevated mood," Smith says. But, he says, "a significant number of people become edgy and irritable as the mania progresses." "Many people are actually frightened when they go into mania," says Sue Bergeson, CEO of the Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance in Chicago, a patient-run mental health organization. "When you are moving into mania, you are losing control of your actions and thoughts," she says. Patients often complain they can't sleep, too. A person in a manic phase may go on spending sprees, use poor judgment, abuse drugs or alcohol, and have difficulty concentrating. Sexual drive can be increased and behavior can be "off" or out of character for what is normal for them. I myself would only be able to get 3 hours of sleep a night.
5) There is a bipolar test. Not true. In early 2008, an at-home bipolar test, sold over the Internet, made headlines. But the test only tells users whether their genetic makeup puts them at higher risk of having or getting bipolar disorder. The bipolar test evaluates saliva samples for two mutations in a gene called GRK3, associated with the disorder. But it can't tell users for sure. Today, a diagnosis of bipolar disorder depends on a doctor taking a careful patient history, asking about symptoms over time. A family history of the disorder increases a person's chances of getting it.
Source
1) Bipolar is a rare condition. False, in a given year, bipolar disorder affects about 5.7 million American adults, or about 2.6% of the U.S. population 18 and older, according to the National Institute of Mental Health. It seemed as though most individuals I came across while in the psych ward were diagnosed with Bipolar.
2) Bipolar is just another name for mood swings. Incorrect. This often aggitates me when I hear the lyrics to songs about being bipolar when the artist is simply referring to mood swings, such as Katy Perry's Hot n Cold. The mood swings associated with bipolar disorder are very different than those of people without the condition, says Matthew Rudorfer, MD, associate director of treatment research in the division of services and intervention research at the National Institute of Mental Health in Bethesda, Md. "The mood swings of bipolar [disorder] are more severe, longer lasting, and maybe most significant of all, they interfere with some important aspect of functioning, such as ability to work at one's job, or manage one's home, or be a successful student," he says.
3) People with bipolar disorder shift back and forth from depression to mania very often. The Jekyll-Hyde personality, the type that can turn on a dime from sad to euphoric, is a myth about bipolar, says Gary Sachs, MD, director of the Bipolar Clinic and Research Program at Massachusetts General Hospital in Boston and associate professor of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School. ''The average bipolar patient will be depressed more often [than manic]," he says. This definitely rings true for myself. I have only had a few bouts of mania, being depressed the majority of the time.
4) When they're in the manic phase, people with bipolar disorder are often very happy. True for some, experts tell WebMD, but not for others. And a person with bipolar disorder may enter the manic phase happy but not stay that way. "The hallmark of mania is a euphoric or elevated mood," Smith says. But, he says, "a significant number of people become edgy and irritable as the mania progresses." "Many people are actually frightened when they go into mania," says Sue Bergeson, CEO of the Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance in Chicago, a patient-run mental health organization. "When you are moving into mania, you are losing control of your actions and thoughts," she says. Patients often complain they can't sleep, too. A person in a manic phase may go on spending sprees, use poor judgment, abuse drugs or alcohol, and have difficulty concentrating. Sexual drive can be increased and behavior can be "off" or out of character for what is normal for them. I myself would only be able to get 3 hours of sleep a night.
5) There is a bipolar test. Not true. In early 2008, an at-home bipolar test, sold over the Internet, made headlines. But the test only tells users whether their genetic makeup puts them at higher risk of having or getting bipolar disorder. The bipolar test evaluates saliva samples for two mutations in a gene called GRK3, associated with the disorder. But it can't tell users for sure. Today, a diagnosis of bipolar disorder depends on a doctor taking a careful patient history, asking about symptoms over time. A family history of the disorder increases a person's chances of getting it.
Source
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