Hello Everybody. I want to touch on aggressive behavior in bipolar patients today because I myself have been aggressively irritated lately. Aggressive irritation occurs when an irritating situation pushes you to explode, verbally or physically. It's an impulsive aggression, a rage. Something bothers you and you just explode. It scares me. I have to actively restrain myself from saying or doing something that could land me in jail. Luckily I haven't gotten into a run-in with the law yet. It really doesn't seem fair. It's bad enough to deal with bipolar disorder, but then to have these aggressive mood swings take over is terrifying. I feel a loss of control of my mood, a lot like when I'm experiencing PMDD (uber PMS).
Irritation is usually present in manic, hypomanic and mixed moods. Irritability is known to manifest as aggressiveness and impatience with, or intolerance of, others. One study have found that subjects with bipolar display greater rates of anger and aggressive behaviors, especially during acute and psychotic episodes. Other studies have robustly confirmed that the diagnosis of bipolar disorder confers a substantially elevated risk for aggressive behaviour, the risk is higher if comorbid diagnoses are present, and comorbidity rates are high. "Clinical and neurobiological links between suicide and outward aggression are particularly important. Patients with bipolar disorder who had a history of suicide attempt were compared with those without such a history. The attempters had significantly higher scores on scales measuring hostility and lifetime history of aggression. In a similar study of bipolar patients, suicide attempters were compared with non-attempters. The attempters had significantly higher levels of hostility measured by the Buss-Durkee scale with a notable difference on the Assault subscale that assesses overt physical aggression. They also showed higher level of non-planning impulsiveness on the Barratt scale. Impulsiveness and hostility were correlated in the attempter subset."
Irritability, un-cooperativeness, impatience and lack of insight are all symptoms I've been experiencing lately. I've jumped at any opportunity to engage with customer service reps at stores who are incompetent. Just this week I have gone off at my father's doctor office when I had to wait 7.5 hours for a simple procedure to be completed. When I'm forced to wait I get impatient and very irritable. I made sure those nurses knew I was pissed. I also dumped easy mac cheese powder all over the counter in the waiting room so they would have to clean it up. All sorts of ideas ran through my head, but since it was my father's doctor and not my own I decided there wasn't much else I could do to get even with these wenches who were making me and my family wait so long.
Just last night I went with my father to get his computer back from the Geek Squad at Best Buy. They totally messed up the invoice order and I went off. I wanted vindication. I had to keep myself from jumping over the damn counter and wringing this moron's neck.
When I feel wronged all sorts of things flash through my head, ways to get even. Harmful things to say or do. I've never acted on any physical impulses. If I had I would be in jail. I only ever get angry and shout. That's usually enough.
I have been on the depressed side of the spectrum lately which doesn't exactly help my moods either. I called my therapist's office and was put on a waiting list to get in sooner to talk to him if an appointment slot opens up. Not much else I can do for the time being. I'm simply trying to limit my interactions with people. The less I interact the less likely I will become frustrated and go off.
One day at a time...
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